As I told you often, I sometimes had some chance to live with people in US. I regard such experience as an important part of my study in US. On the other hand, I had some difficulty in communication with them because of gap between non-native and native.
I cannot avoid the difference. Still I had to deal with the situation. If people around you like to communicate you because of difference of our back ground, that is fine. However, sometimes people do not like to speak non-native speakers. The problem is that we still have to communicate with each other and try to make good friend ship.
In order to do so, I think some tactics are necessary. It is different how to seduce women. Fortunately (unfortunately?), I do not have such a talent. Following tactics is simple but important factors to establish good relationships with people.
1) Remember others' name.
It is very important. The basic of communication is expressing your interest to others. Saying “Good morning” with some other’s name is an initial step to be good friends. If the person notice that, they began to change their attitude to you from “total others” to “people around she or he”.
2) Trying to say “How are you” as much as possible
Next step of communication is trying to understand of people. It is different from understanding deep part of someone. It is just to share daily experiences with others. For example, if you reply “Fine, how about you”, that is the end of your communication. Instead, if you reply “ Well, now I have just received a good program with a professor in England and try to use it! It is very exciting! ”, then people also try to comment on your answer, if the person is seismologist.It is an extreme case, but I think if you try to communicate as concretely as possible, you can use daily greet as a chance to advance your communication.
Communication ability varies from person to person. All people do not always have sophisticated ability to make good friend ship with others. However, if you find some chance and try to make it best, you can have great advancement in your communication with advancement of friendship.
3) Talking about your own hobby
As I addressed repeatedly, there is a great gap between native and non-native speakers. Then how should we fill the gap? One good practice is talking you hobby. It is very difficult to speak about social problem or politics immediately. These topics are sometimes important and interesting. However, it is very difficult to speak such topics attractive. On the other hand, that was not so difficult about your hobby. In addition, we can share some part of us by talking both of our hobbies. That must enhance your friendship.
4) Ask simple questions
You had to communicate as much as possible. If you have some chance, you’d better to increase your time to talk with people. Asking simple question is essential. Because it must increase time to communicate. In addition, asking question means that you admit person whom you ask a question. If the person notices or feels that more or less, that is important thing for enhancement of friendship.
5) Express your opinions especially about people’s current situations
Maybe, if you express that you pay attention to your friend, she or he must reply in one way or another. Such a custom motivate you to considerate of others more. Regardless of living abroad, we tend to forget to pay attention to the status of others. More you get used to your life, more you are not aware of others. If you try to find some minute change of others, it might make your life better because you can enjoy your life more. Such a positive attitude might be reflected by people around you.
6) Never forget smile
I think that is very important. It is frustrating to live abroad. However, you should never forget your smile. If you do so, that must encourage people around you to communicate with you. If you live abroad, you have to face a lot of difficulty and it sometimes makes your smile difficult. You still have to keep your smile. Sometimes you have to face unthinkable difficulty in your life. Human being sometimes has to overcome any difficulty in any conditions. That is one of important things for me to learn in USA.
These tactics are not so difficult. I had to say that my communication is still in simple and primitive level. On the other hand, I think those are useful in advanced communications. Studying abroad seems to remind me of important part of communication through difficulties.
